More Promises

So to be honest, I've barely thought about this blog or losing weight at all this week.  Tomorrow I am headed to the Midwest to visit some friends and attend a wedding.  Obviously I wish I had done more to lose weight before this trip but it is what it is.

I guess I figured that the likelihood of eating super well and getting exercise during the next week is slim to none so this week didn't really count.  But I know that this type of thinking will keep me fat.

I am going to do my best to make good food choices during my travels (i.e. packing healthy snacks for the plane) but I am also going to enjoy myself.  Yes, I will eat wedding cake.  (I hope it's delicious!)

When I get back from my trip it will be almost September, school will be starting and I will hopefully settle into a healthy routine of nourishing food and exercising.  So for now, dear blog, I bid you adieu.

* Obv. there will be no weigh in on Thursday as I will be in three different states that day!

  

Week 6

I knew this was coming.  I could have written this last night or two days ago.

I gained weight. 

Starting weight: 272 lbs.
Current weight: 260.7 lbs.
Weekly loss: +2 lbs.
Total loss: 11 lbs.

For the first time in 6 weeks I gained weight.  After my realization last week about eating my way through the weekends, I made a decision that I wasn't going to do that.  And I didn't.  But I also didn't really watch my food intake for the week and I certainly didn't exercise.  I wanted to lose a big number this week because I'm going on vacation next week and needed a weight buffer.

I'm disappointed that I didn't try this week.  I've still lost more than 10 pounds but I hate the fact that I crossed back into the 260's.  But instead of giving up, I will keep going.  Obviously there will be ups and downs on this journey as there are in any facet of life.  No one said this was going to be easy.

Short term goal #1:  Get back into the 250's before I leave for vacation on Monday.
Short term goal #2:  Return from vacation still in the 250's.  (I.E. Don't gain weight!)

Week 5

I had a tough time this week.  I ate my way through the weekend, watching movies and shirking all forms of exercise.  When I stepped on the scale on Monday I was disappointed at what seems to have become a habit over the last two weeks.  I do my official weigh in on Thursday morning then I eat until Sunday.  

I realized this past week that cheat meals and days are acting as a catalyst for a weekend free-for-all.  I am obsessed with pasta and could eat it forever and ever.  I tried limiting myself to one pasta dish a week but the result of that was that I would eat as much pasta as I could, knowing that I wouldn't allow myself to have it again for a whole week.

While I know that pasta is definitely my weakness, I am not ready to eliminate it from my diet altogether.  Perhaps in the future I will decide that it is worth giving up pasta.  That I want to be thin and healthy more than I want to eat pasta.  But for now my mindset is "don't do anything on a diet that you can't/won't do for the rest of your life."  And there is no way that I will ever stop eating pasta forever.

Rather than allowing myself cheat meals or cheat days, I am going to attempt the moderation route.  One 2-oz serving of pasta once or twice a week (with a protein and a veggie of course!).  What I am slowly coming to realize is that losing weight is an individual process.  I need to learn what works for me.  And when something doesn't work, I need to recognize my mistakes and chart a new course.

With that said, I would have put money on me posting my first weight gain this week.  I ate poorly through Sunday and aside from walking around the mall a few times, I did no exercise.  Somehow, the Scale Gods were being kind this week and I weighed in at:

Starting weight:  272 lbs.

Current weight:  258.7 lbs.  

Weekly loss:  2.8 lbs.

Total loss:  13.3 lbs.

   

Naive

Last week I wrote about balance.  I was quite naive to think that finding balance would come so quickly.  The first three weeks of Amy Gets Healthy I was so committed and determined.  I counted calories and measured portions and I just had the mentality that once I hit those calories I was done eating for the day.  I didn't allow myself any treats for the first two weeks and I didn't seem to miss them.  

But somewhere between then and now it seems I've misplaced my balance.  My weigh in day is Thursday which means I typically spend Friday and Saturday "celebrating" the weight I have lost with food.  How screwed up is that?  I guess I figure that the weekends don't count and that I can get back on track by the following Thursday.  Even if this is the case, I am still sabotaging my weight loss.  Imagine what my weight loss might be if I didn't have to re-lose the pound I gained over the weekend.

I really do want to commit and hit my long term goal but I just can't seem to get my head on straight.  

     

A Long Term Goal

Today is my half birthday.  Today I am 29 and a half.  In exactly six months, I will turn the big 3-0.

Throughout my life, I have vowed to lose weight by a certain birthday, anniversary, or holiday.  In my first post I wrote:  I remember being 19 thinking, “I am going to lose the weight before I’m in my 20’s.”  And at 25 thinking, “I can’t believe I’ve wasted half of my 20’s being overweight.”  And here I am in the twilight of my 20’s regretting that I never took any steps to change my life.

But I am finally taking those steps.  I am ready to make a change and I am ready to set a big goal.  So here it is:

I want to weigh 199 pounds (or less) on my 30th birthday.

This means that in 6 months I need to lose 62 pounds.  I think that this will be challenging but I think that this will be possible.  I will get started on this goal tomorrow as it is Fitness Friday!

Week 4

This was a strange week.  I had (and gave into) my first real cravings this week.  My cheat meal turned into a cheat weekend.  I ate ice cream, I ate pasta, I ate frozen orange chicken.  On Monday, my diet was reflected on the scale by a one pound weight gain.  It made me feel terrible knowing that my food choices were the direct cause of the increase.

But I spent Monday-Thursday trying to make good food choices (even though I ate out 2 of those 4 days).  I did some walking and I did two days of Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred which kicked my ass and I could barely move on day three!  The workout is tough and though I spent at least 5 of the 20 minutes lying on the carpet trying to catch my breath, it seems to be quite effective.  This coming week I plan to do 30 Day Shred four times on non-consecutive days.

My efforts during the second half of the week resulted in a loss!

Starting weight:  272 lbs.
Current weight:  261.5 lbs.
Weekly loss:  2 lbs.
Total loss:  10.5 lbs.

I accomplished last week's goal of losing more than 1.5 lbs which means I've lost 10 pounds in the past month!  While I know that I probably could have lost more weight this month if I worked out harder, I am proud of the progress that I have made.

 

Chocolate Chips and Dress Shopping

If you said, "Hey Amy, what are you doing right now?"  I would lie to you and say, "nothing" when in fact I am eating chocolate chips straight from the bag.  This is me being totally honest.  My cheat meal on Friday (pasta with tomato cream sauce and chicken) turned into a cheat weekend.  But today is Monday which is was a perfect day to start anew.

Cue Monday morning weigh in.

Up one pound from last official weigh in on Thursday.  Then I spent the morning dress shopping for a black tie optional wedding I have coming up at the end of the summer.  I went to David's Bridal hoping that I could find something fancy enough and walk out of the store with it.  I loaded up my dressing room with 1,000 dresses and got to work.  Well.  I know that sizes in every store are different but last summer I bought a size 20 dress for a wedding. (It was Jersey so much more forgiving than a formal fitted dress.)  I gathered a bunch of size 20s and threw in some size 22s for good measure.  The 20s were a no go and the 22s zipped but were snug.  I even tried on a size 24 which was much more comfortable but the strapless tops were way too big.

In the end I spent an hour and a half feeling bad about myself and left without a dress.  Dresses were non-returnable and I didn't want to pay to have the size 24 altered and the size 22 left me feeling like a sausage.

Sigh.

Last summer when I was looking for dresses to wear to a wedding, I vowed that I would lose weight so that when it came time to buy a dress for this summer's wedding it would be an easy and fun task. Obviously that didn't happen. One of my goals (aside from a number on the scale) in losing weight is just to be able to walk into a regular store and pick out any dress or outfit I want.  Buying dresses at 264 pounds is not fun. I can't choose colors or styles, I simply have to chose any dress that fits.

So back to the chocolate chips.  I know that eating them is not going to help me achieve my goals.  I don't even know why I am eating them. Because they taste good? Because I've lost that initial motivation to be healthy? Because the cravings have finally hit me (after 3 weeks)?

Arg.  I can see no positives in today.